All you need it love, or so The Beatles say. No one would argue that love is a fundamental human need. So why does it feel so uncomfortable to talk about love in the workplace? And is it time we changed this? These were some of the big questions we got to chat through with our latest Reset Show guest, Helena Clayton.
Helena researches and writes about love and the role it could, and should play in leadership. You can check out her recent ‘Love and Leadership’ research published by Roffey Park here.
Helena’s research asked the question ‘does love matter in the workplace?’ and overwhelmingly the answer was yes.
If love is so unquestionably important outside of work, why should that be any different inside? And yet workplaces are often full of behaviours which are the antithesis of love. It’s clear that many of us are uncomfortable with talking about love in the workplace, it can make us feel weak or exposed, it might feel too intimate, or unprofessional. Part of the challenge could lie in the way we define love. Love at work is not about romantic love (although let’s be honest many of us do experience that at work – I met my husband in the workplace!).
When we asked Helena about definitions of love at work, she referred back to her research and the key themes that emerged. Top of the list was ‘care’, with ‘listening’ a close second, followed by ’empathy and compassion’. She also talked about the idea of radical acceptance as a way to demonstrate love.
When we delved into our definitions and ideas of love, it transformed from something soft, fluffy, or soppy, into something that demands strength and courage, commitment and even rejection.
When you examine the case for love at work, the evidence is quite compelling. However, when we choose to define love at work, it is going to trigger positive emotions and a cocktail of useful neuro-transmitters and hormones. For more on this check out Barbara Frederickson’s broaden and build theory. And the opposite of love is not hate, but fear – and we know experiencing fear triggers a stress response which in the heat of the moment can be useful, but over a sustained period isn’t great news for our wellbeing.
Experiencing love at work makes us feel safe. And if we feel safe we get out of our comfort zone, we’re more creative, and we can solve bigger problems. We also know that emotions are contagious, and that includes love, where the more we give, the more we get.
Over the last six months or so, we have seen a blurring between our work lives and our personal lives. We believe we have a golden opportunity to change the way we work for the better; why wouldn’t we want more love in the workplace? The Covid crisis has given many of us a dose of perspective, we have more clarity on what we want and need, both in and outside of work. I’m genuinely optimistic that we are moving into a new era at work, where we focus on human connection, where we act with love and where our intention and motivations all come from a place of love.
If you’re interested in find out more about Helena’s work, visit her website and subscribe to her regular newsletter – you’ll love it!
