I recently returned from a couple of blissful weeks holiday. We went on our annual trip to Greenman festival which brings together all the things I love: family, friends, great music, dancing, cocktails, need I say more. Greenman takes place in the Brecon Beacons, in Wales, which are absolutely stunning; if you haven’t visited put it on your list, you won’t be disappointed.
And while the mountains make a stunning backdrop to the festival, what’s even better is the fact that my phone is out of signal for pretty much the whole week we’re there. Yes there’s the token ‘free WIFI’ but with 20k people trying to get on it, it tends to grind to a halt.
What this means is that Greenman week is pretty much the only week of the year I really switch off. So the outcome of my enforced digital detox is that my short time away felt more like a month. I came back feeling refreshed, rested and re-energised.
Unfortunately those feelings didn’t last very long. My poor diary management meant on my first day back I was straight back into various meetings, workshops and client delivery. Definitely a lesson learnt for next time I’m away, to keep the first day back as clear as possible!
It was a tough day, and I’m going to be honest, it was a tough week. And then my old friend ‘imposter syndrome’ decided it was a good time to pay me a visit. I’d gone from totally chill to ‘I don’t know if I can do this’ or rather ‘I don’t know if I am good enough to do this’ in 24 hours.
In summary imposter syndrome is doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. And while mindset clearly plays a big role in experiencing imposter syndrome (or not), there are historical and cultural impacts at play as well. I’m not going to go into this aspect here but there’s a great HBR article which looks at the role of systemic bias and exclusion in perpetuating the ‘diagnosis’ of imposter syndrome, and is well worth a look.
While contemplating my future as MD of People Lab after my first day back in the office (ok I’m being a little melodramatic, but you get the idea), something caught my eye, stopped me in my tracks and made me consider imposter syndrome in a completely new way. It was a quote from Dr Todd Kashdan, who I can always rely on to challenge my thinking (thank you Todd!). The quote was this…..
“You don’t ever stop feeling imposter syndrome if you’re growing…”
Just what I needed to hear (or read as was the case).
A simple reframing of these feelings was all it took. Because I know I will most likely always have bouts of imposer syndrome. At 51 years old, and with all the stuff I’ve accomplished over the years, let’s face it if I haven’t banished imposter syndrome by now I probably never will. But next time it comes knocking (as it surely will) I am going to see this a reminder, that I want and need to grow, to develop, to learn, and to get better at what I do.
And I’ll remind myself that this is a good thing.
Because what imposter syndrome can do for me, is rather than instil doubt that I’m not good enough, remind me that there’s always room for improvement, and there’s always space to grow and be better tomorrow than I am today.
By the way, speaking of Todd, his book ‘The art of insubordination’ is one of my ‘must reads’ over the last year – if you want to find out more check out our recent Reset Show with Todd. We’d love to know what you think!
