To say that enjoying positive relationships in our lives contributes significantly to our wellbeing is stating the obvious. But did you know that a study by researchers at Brigham Young University found that people with good social relationships are much less likely to die early than people who are more isolated?
The study found that a lack of social relationships was equivalent to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, or being an alcoholic, more harmful than not exercising, and twice as harmful as obesity. There is a large body of research which demonstrates the impact of positive relationships on our wellbeing: we tend to be happier, healthier, more optimistic about the future, have a more positive experience of aging, recover better from mental illness and so the list goes on. When considering the role of positive relationships at work, research from Gallup even shows that friendships in the workplace are linked to increased performance.
We all have various relationships in our lives: good, bad and sometimes downright ugly. Experiencing different types of relationships is an inevitable part of living. The key is to be able to identify those relationships which are good for us, and be able to build and nurture them. Stating the obvious again, positive relationships are a two-way thing. But just how do you define a ‘positive relationship’?
Clearly there are some key themes, which will feature when considering what constitutes a positive relationship. For example, trust, mutual respect, open communication. However, there are of course some personal differences. Just consider the range of different people you have in your life and how they all get on with each other. We all have that friend that we adore but others in our social circle just don’t get. Understanding your own relationship needs is important if you want to focus on developing your relationships.
So, just how do you go about building positive relationships? The list below is not exhaustive but provides a great place to start:
– Understand your relationship needs – we’re all unique in what we need to build positive relationships. Reflect on those relationships you have which really work for you and try to think about why they work. Also think about what others need from you.
– Listen, listen and listen – getting really good at listening is a great way to strengthen and build your relationships.
– Work on your EQ – developing your emotional intelligence, can help you become more aware of your own emotional response in your interactions. You will also build your skills to read others more effectively, which will help you to respond in the right way. All of which is hugely beneficial in developing positive relationships.
– Make time and prioritise – relationships don’t just happen, they need nurturing and working on. To do this we have to make time for them and prioritise them as well.
– Be positive – positivity is attractive and contagious; the caveat here is it needs to be in the right situations of course.
– Appreciation – everyone wants to be appreciated, but it can be easy to let the compliments and feedback slide, especially with people we know really well. Make a conscious effort to say thanks and offer positive feedback to strengthen and build your relationships.
– Manage boundaries – we all have many different relationships, which fulfil different needs in our lives and others – we have best friends, partners, and family, work colleagues, mates and more. It’s important to be clear about the boundaries of our relationships, to avoid conflict and misunderstanding.
– Avoid gossip – gossiping can erode trust, which as we know is crucial for positive relationships. Try to avoid it if you can.
We would love to hear what you would add to this list, so as always, please do get in touch
