“We not only need to work happy, we need to work at being happy.” (Shawn Achor)
When we’re growing up, it’s a normal to let your imagination run wild with ideas for the future. I remember it so well – one week, I’d dream about being a Hollywood actress, the next I’d be planning which medical school to go to or which country I’d be moving to at 18. The older I got, the more I loved writing and storytelling, which forms a huge part of what I do now.
I’d often ask my parents what they thought I should do for a living, and their answer was ALWAYS the same.
[box] “We don’t mind what you do – as long as you’re happy” [/box]
The little cogs in my childish brain whurred away. What would make me happy? When would I know I was happy? Do I need to be rich, or can I be poor and happy? What does it really mean?
At the time, I was at my happiest being the class clown and loved performing in school plays. I wanted to be an actress, and my parents sat front row and centre for every performance, cheering me on. When I later changed my mind and wanted to be a writer, they maintained the same level of support – always saying that if it’d make me happy, it’d be fine with them.
The point is, my parents NEVER focused on job roles or titles. They never pushed me to be the best laywer, the most talented singer, the most famous journalist. They just didn’t buy into the hierachy of it all, and didn’t envisage that by being rich and powerful, I’d be happy. They understood from the beginning that if their children started with happiness and made it a priority, success would inevitably follow.
How right they were – and how funny that it took me so long to realise that I was raised with one of the key principles of positive psychology.
Shawn Achor, Happiness guru, states that if you put happiness first, success will always follow. If you focus on success in the form of job titles, money and power, you’ll never be happy.
[box]“Every single relationship, business and educational outcome improves when the brain is positive first,” explains Achor. “If you cultivate happiness while in the midst of your struggles, work, at school, while unemployed or single, you increase your chances of attaining all the goals you are pursuing – including happiness.”[/box]
With this in mind, why do so many still focus on success before happiness? There’s a cynicism surrounding the concept, as though achieving happiness before you’re CEO is for the weak. So many think that, when they get to the top, they’ll open the happiness box and claim their prize after long last.
But sadly, as Achor outlines, it’s just not the case. We need to reverse the age old formula that dictates that if we succeed, we’ll be happy – put happiness first, before you’re too old and tired to remember what being happy felt like.
I’m very grateful to my parents. They instilled a thirst for happiness in me and my siblings from a very young age, and made me realise just how important it is. At People Lab, we’re really passionate about improving happiness in the organisations we work with – if you’d like to have a chat about how we could work together, contact us any time.
