Experiences where we have some level of appreciation and gratitude from others, are a fundamental part of what constitutes a great employee experience. Feeling like someone, somewhere appreciates us in some way really matters. When we experience appreciation, this results in a release of positive emotions and all the benefits that this brings. Being appreciated brings about great memories, higher self-esteem, feeling more relaxed and more optimism. Clearly a bit of appreciation can go a long way but just how do you go about designing employee experiences which enable your people to feel appreciated?
Let’s start with a ‘don’t do it like this’ story.
We worked with a client some years ago, who were going through the process of moving some 2,000 employees, from a rather out-dated office, into a lovely, shiny new office. They came up with what they thought was a brilliant idea; to give all employees a free breakfast. They believed a free breakfast would be a great experience for their people, and contribute towards their overall engagement, by making them feel appreciated. And despite our best efforts we couldn’t convince them otherwise.
So what happened? Initially the free breakfast went down a treat, lots of smiley faces in the morning queuing up for free toast or cereal. But pretty soon there were rumblings: some people didn’t like cereals or toast, and wanted porridge, or a piece of fruit. But these items weren’t on the free breakfast list. Other people started to abuse the company’s generosity, taking three or four boxes of the free cereal to see them through to lunchtime and beyond.
The rumblings grew into discontent.
The company then had to publish and enforce a “free breakfast policy”, detailing the rules for the free breakfast. And it wasn’t long before they were wishing they had not gone down the free breakfast route to start with, given the discontent it had caused.
The free breakfast very soon became yet another hygiene factor, it was simply expected as part of the employee deal. Despite the initial positive experience, employees very quickly came to perceive the free breakfast as part of the package, such as receiving their pay each month.
On the face of it, perks such as a free breakfast might sound pretty cool, a way to show your people you really appreciate them. However the problem is that the way we want to experience appreciation is pretty subjective and most-times way more fundamental than well-meaning perks.
So here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Avoid making assumptions
For every colleague who loves winning awards, starring as employee of the month and having a big old fuss made about how brilliant they are, there are others who just want a quiet thank-you and minimal fuss. This is definitely not a one-size fits all approach. Which leads me on to….
- Find out what your team’s ‘language of love’ is
We like to be shown appreciation in different ways. Some people need words, some people love the gifts, others appreciate time or acts of service. The point is we’re all different and if our way of showing appreciation doesn’t match the people we are appreciating they can feel unappreciated.
Gary Chapman published his Languages of Love book to help people better understand their language, and the language of others. For me, an offer of a quick hoover up when I’m busy, from my husband or kids gives me way more appreciation than words of gifts.
Take the quiz to discover what your language is
This work has been expanded to look at the 5 languages of appreciation in the workplace, which is well worth checking out for some great resources and guidance.
- Role model appreciation and don’t fake it
We know that behaviour breeds behaviour, and making appreciation a social norm can only be a good thing.
We can understand this effect by looking at the neuroscience. In our brains we have something called the mirror neuron system (MNS). These neurons are fired when we watch someone else perform something – including an emotion. Our brains essentially ‘screen shot’ their action / expression, and that emotion manifests itself in us. Our brains will fire the according neurochemicals. Showing appreciation emits a ‘warm glow’ to the people around us and elevates our mood (which is due to the oxytocin it causes our bodies to produce). The flip side to this is that it can’t be faked, this will only work if we are authentic.
What is interesting is that when we show appreciation to others, we also get a boost (again, so long as it’s not fake). Showing others appreciation is linked to a range of positive outcomes including wellbeing, increase better sleep habits, increased metabolism and lower stress.
Appreciation is good for everyone, it’s the poster child for a win/win at work – everybody benefits when genuine appreciation is shown, so what are you wating for?
